Recapitulation of Year 2009

On the last day of year 2009, will like to recap of what I've gone through for the past 1 yr...

January

~ Spent the 1st day of 2009 with my loved one at Genting Highland, it was a memorable one for both of us. Nothing much happening after that, as usual, busy busy with works and of course, the Chinese New Year celebration ! Angpows and angpows ... mwahahah , feel so rich especially on the CNY every year.

February

~ Was also busy attending courses for the preparation of upcoming exams in the month of April. Gone through the 2nd Valentine's Day of ours and hoping to celebrate it again in the coming one. Month of February is a very short month, as usual life goes on, busy with works again! So stressed up as need to attend courses and at the same time need to meet the deadlines as well. Sobbies ..

March

~ The month to prepare for the coming 1st CCP paper in April. Haha, last minute studies as usual. Where got so free la right? So so busy with works and management keep wanting us to meet their deadlines, which some is not even in our KPI. Sigh ~

April

~ Exam exam exam!! Took a whole week of study leave just for studies ! Duhh ~ of course for studiesla, and is not for shopping or outings ok! :p Haha ~ wasn't confident enough to sit for that paper, but someone besides me has been giving me guidance and moral support. Thank you alot. And I know, he is also busy and stressed up with his studies and works. I might be not a good gf previously, but has tried my best to support and guide him as well. And right after the exam, ofcos it would be the celebration !! Wooohooo ~~

May

~ It was the month that our love slowly turns 180 degrees. More and more arguments occured. Yes, both of us are really too ego I can say. Perhaps cos both of us are Libra-ians? I don't know. Broke off for the first time due to some unforeseen circumstances but patched back cos both of us still loving each other alot and alot. I tell myself to change especially on my temper and to commit more into this relationship. And another thing was, I started to feel the pain in my body. I don't know what made the pains. But it is painful. I m proud that I can stand it for quite some time already until I visit the doctor. I do not want others to be worried of me but until I really can't stand it anymore.

June

~ And I know I need time to change my temper, and I wish I will be given that time. Which gal who don't lose their temper actually? It's normal seriously. I got friends who are much more worse than me. Anyway, the month of June in 2009 was just a very normal days happening around in our life. Go dating, movies, here and there. Of course, it is still best cos it was well-spent with the loved ones. June was also a critical month for me in my job, as it is the end of financial year and many things are to be done before the last day of June. The pain is still there, and it got worse. Visit the doctor and suspected growth and then was urgently registered for an operation in July. Ofcos I am worried and very very scared, as I do not know what will happen to me. I was damn emo and sad, but luckily there is someone has been accompanying me to go thru this. Thanks alot to you again. I know you've tried your very best to be a good bf.

July

~ Month of July, a very shocking month. Received a phone call in the middle of the night and was told that my beloved Uncle [Mum's big bro] was brutally slashed by some people at his work place and is on the way in the ambulance from Telok Anson to Klang Hospital. That's the nearest hospital they said. The ambulance speed over 150Km/per hour. Every of us was really worried and most of our family members rushed there to find out more. And he passed away few days later, which also falls on the same day as my day operation. We were proud of him as he managed to stand the pains and he was unconscious and went off to the other world. I stil goes on with my operation and it goes well although there are lots of complication during the surgery. Luckily ~ And thanks again to bf who has been accompanying me for that period during the stay in hospital. He has been accompanying me from early morning until I sleep at night. Thank you very much.

August

~ Health is not that good since early of the year. Needs to rest more after the operation. However, going back to work after the long medical leave, it was miserable !! Files and documents are tonnes up on my table. Gosh ~ but what to do, thats the cheap labour. But luckily bosses are really considerate. They don't pressure me too much, but I will feel guilty and I will work even harder for it. :) Uncle just passed away, and he is our very respectful one in our family. Many prayers was also done for him. Hoping he will live happily in the other world. At the same time, H1N1 hits the world. It was a very serious disease, and did also brings away many lifes. Same time, I need to prepare and busy attending courses again for my 2nd paper - CCP paper 3 in September. Wow ~ look at how busy I am .. gonna be crazy soon ... no wonder my temper got worse instead of going better.

September

~ Another week of study leave for studies! Woah ~ exam is done! Time to give myself another rest time. Oh ya, there is a small argument in between this month. Sigh ~ but it was then solved. He is very forgiving and I really love him alot. He brought me out for some outing with his colleagues, and I was very very happy then. I wish to spend my time just for him :). And the happiest thing is, my birthday fall on the month of September as well. Hahaha ~ happy happy happy! I know he couldn't take leave on my birthday and I am Ok with it. I don't mind celebrating it later on during his off-days as long as it is celebrated with him. But he made his best effort to celebrate with me on that actual day! Yeah ~ thank you very much to you. I love it. I love your preparation. So cute, he tried to give me surprises. I appreciate it alot. But I am sorry, my mood was spoilt by the pain, but I still enjoyed it alot! I love the cake too. Coincidentally, my birthday falls on the Arthur's Day as well. So, i moved on to the next event with my friends and he goes back to work. I know he is tired as well, rushing here and there. Sowiee ~

October

~ First day of the month, it was his birthday! I've tried my best to give him surprises as well! Weeee ~~ and sent a sms one day before to invite him to a bday celebration with me. Haha ~ I've tried it out with some new ideas. Made calls here and there cos I need to work on that day as well, so do him. Seeing him so happy on that day, I am very very happy too. That was the 2nd birthday celebration for him. I hope he will like it although it was just a very simple one. Happy Birthday to you ! Happy Birthday to you ! Happy Birthday to youuuu ~ Happy Birthday to U! :D.

November

~ I was wondering how come I got thinner and thinner nowadays. Is it becos of the side effect of the medicine? Worried as well. But it slowly turns better and I tried my best to eat more just to gain the weight. Hahahaha. Was so happy cos finally we are successful in booking the air tickets to Taiwan trip next year. I am so looking forward to this trip. Spent 3 hours till 3am in the morning just to book the cheap tickets for our long awaiting trip. Lol. He was happy too as finally his wish comes true. Time to save save and plan plan for this trip. At the same time as well, many weddings to attend. Gosh, pokai month in November and December. We travelled down to Malacca for one of my old friend's wedding dinner and also at the same time, a Malacca Trip for both of us. It was an enjoyable one as we have already been saying it long enough and just that we do not have the time to do it! That was our last memorable trip. I seriously enjoyed it and I hope you do too.

December

~ Went down to Batu Pahat for colleague's wedding with him and on that day itself, our relationship ended after a small talk with him. I don't consider it as argument, as I am just telling him what I am thinking. I think our relationship really do need some communication. Since that day, we have never talk, he doesn't want to answer my calls, he doesn't want to reply my sms, he doesn't want to see me as well. I've tried many ways just to contact him and he feels irritated and annoyed about it. Ya, i know i am annoying, I just want to try to save this relationship cos I appreciate it alot. It should be the month of our 2nd Xmas celebration and 2 years anniversary of being together, which coincidentally falls on the last day of the year.

I may left out some during the recapitulation as above, but it will always be in my memory. The ending of year 2009 and I do not know what will come in year 2010, but just hope for a better one ofcos ~ Happy New Year to all ! Cheers !

-Jodiesan-

h.a.p.p.i.e n.e.w y.e.a.r

Another 2 more days and we will be saying goodbye to the year 2009, and yes we shall welcome the 2010.

Many wishes I've made previously has not even been fulfilled yet, and I guess I will have to do it this coming year 2010 ~

Alot of incidents happened in my year 2009 - hicked up in the work, exam stress for my banking papers, work stress, major operation in the month of July, one of our beloved and respectful family members went to another life so suddenly .. and etc.

Has been falling sick alot in year 2009, and wishing it will be lesser in the coming year. I hope. Is it due to the weakness of my immune system, or is there something else happening which I do not want to find out more about it? I don't know .. but nevermind, let's pray for the best ..

I really had a good memorable days in year 2009 and will also remember it. For the past 2 years, the new year eve days, will always be the special one for me, but this year it will be a different one, without companion from a special one. I've experienced the best and sweet time with you and thank you for giving me such a lovely one and of course I do wish that i'll have your companion this time. I still remember that we actually wanted to plan for a new year eve celebration over the sea. Sigh ~

Anyway, I am here taking this opportunity, to wish everyone a Happy New Year, welcoming the year 2010. Hopefully everything will be the best for everyone. New Year New Resolution , I've always been hearing this sentence alot, looks like I'll need to think of what resolution to make then.

And last but not least, Happy New Year to You too ~

陶喆 - 暗恋

告诉自己要冷静 却又无法不想你
我的懦弱已经开始让我讨厌我自己
是你对我有戒心 还是我没有自信
可是谁也不能阻止我 我要暗恋你
so lonely

so here I am ,standing all alone
在某个街头 有个我在这里只为你等候
here I am waiting just for you
开放我所有 希望你能了解你能够接受我
so lonely

尽管渴望再见你 虽然只是在梦里
短暂的甜蜜已胜过了一辈子没有你
就算没快乐结局 就算从此死了心
我要付出我所有珍妮 只要能感动你
我愿意 我愿意

so here I am ,standing all alone
在某个街头 有个我在这里只为你等候
here I am ,waiting just for you
开放我所有 ,我要为你怎么做你才接受
oh~(怎么才接受)
我喜欢 我要你 我爱你(我喜欢 我要你 我爱你)

so here I am , standing all alone
在某个街头 有个我在这里只为你等候
so here I am ,waiting just for you
开放我所有 希望你能了解你能够接受我
I am lonely

故事就说到这里 就算你们再好奇
我想说的都已说完了 其余是秘密
在那某一个街头 会流传某个旋律
那是我在轻轻唱着歌 多爱你 珍妮

merry x'mas

We wish you a merry x'mas,
we wish you a merry x'mas,
we wish you a merry x'mas,
And a happy new year .

It should be a special day, the day our story started [25/12] ...

*Merry Christmas to You*

When You're Gone

I always needed time of my own
I never thought
I'd need you there when I cried

And the days feel like years
whene I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
Is made up on your side

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart
are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know
is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear
to always get me through the day
And make it ok
I Miss You ~

I never felt this way before
Everything that I do
reminds me of you

And the clothes you left
are lyin' on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much
I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart
are missing you ~

Right Here Waiting

Just to let you know, I'll be here waiting for you to come back ... meanwhile, I will change to a better me to start up a new life with U ... I guess I know what you really want ....

Yes, a 2 years relationship is not short nor long .. but I am not like other girls, who only look at the good point and hate the bad point of you .. I am the type who wants to go through with you of everything of yours whether it is bad or good .. I'll be right here waiting for you ...

* Right Here Waiting by Richard Marx *

Wherever you go

Whatever you do

I will be right here waiting for you

Whatever it takes Or how my heart breaks

I will be right here waiting for you

Wishing you could see this ...

i am sorry

i am sorry .. u r always the most important one in my heart ...and this is the song that u always been singing it to me .. i really love it till now ~

I don't know but I believe
That somethings are meant to be
And that you'll make a better me
Everyday I love you

I never thought that dreams came true
But you showed me that they do
You know that I learn somethng new
Everyday I love you

'Cos I believe that destiny

is out of our control
And you'll never live until you love
With all your heart and soul.
It's a touch when I feel bad
It's a smile when I get mad
and All the little things I am
Everyday I love you

If I asked would you say yes
Together we're the very best
I know that I am truly blessed
Everyday I love you
And I'll give you my best
Everyday I love you

I really hope you can hear me ... love you always ~

I don't know but I believe,
There's some things are meant to be,
You'll make a better me,
Everyday I Love You ...

it's the pain and exam is tomorrow. how am i going to sit for this exam? sighhh ~~

everything happened just like a dream ...

It was a busy busy week .. firstly due to workloads ...unfinish work .. but I am in need to go for a week or two medical leave, as health is more important , i rather let go my work and only continues with it when I am back after that ..

Received phone call and was told that something happened to my big uncle, got slashed behind the head, 5-6 slashes on the face and also on the leg. It happened so out of sudden.

He was sent to a nearest hospital in Klang from his working place in Teluk Anson, Perak. Badly injured and unconscious, and he stand it for that few days until last Saturday, we received calls from other relatives saying that he is gone, for real. He is no longer here.

I took a home-leave from hospital for 2 hours and rushed to the Klang hospital and was unable to see him for the last time. The tears just kept dropping out of my eyes. Not me alone, is all of us. I do not know how to response at that time.

And I went back to the hospital I admitted in and prepare for the operation booked and everything went well. Mum was busy with the family matter as uncle passed away so suddenly. Thank god bf was looking after me for that few days until I was discharged on Monday. Thank you fellow friends for visiting and the boxes of chicken essense and also thank you for the basket of flowers + fruits from colleagues.

The moment I was discharged, I rushed to the ceremony at uncle's place. Looking at him sleeping inside the casket, my tears drop again, and I couldnt stop it. I hate those people who did this to him. Don't this people feel bad after doing it? Damn ...

He is among one of the uncle(s) i respect the most in my family. A very very nice guy, honest and loving. His demise is the lost to all of our family members. It was a shocked to us as well and we are still thinking of him day and night even after the funeral service. All of his workers, even travelled down from Perak with buses and cars to pay the last respect to him. That shows how well he treats his workers and all. The whole place was also showered with more than 50 bouquet of flowers from friends and relatives.

The whole ceremony was a sorrow and full with tears, from relatives and even friends. It is very hard to accept his death, he is still young, strong and healthy guy. Everything is just like a dream. However, what gone is already gone, he will be always in our heart and mind. We'll be forever loving you, Uncle. May you Rest In Peace ~

This is the 5th or 6th time, he said that to me .. and is for real ...I thought he won't be treating me like this .. and I m wrong ... as friends said, there is no true love in this world .. and I am slowly believing it ..

Something to/not cheer about

Oh yes it is a happy thing, cos 1st CCP paper is over. Had been studying for that paper in less than a week! The feel is just like way back in Uni life during the exam weeks etc. I miss that moment. *sobz* ..

For some of you was wondering what is CCP, the full name for it is "Certified Credit Professional". Some sort of like, it is a requirement for credit personnel in banking and finance industry, for further enhancement in your career, and that would be useful I hope. :p ..

And so, that's only the 1st paper, and the 3rd & 5th are coming on their way. Result for 1st CCP paper is not out yet, and I m in the un-sure standing, whether I can pass it or not. For your information, the passing marks is 80%. Sounds scary right? But really hope that I have the enough knowledege and luck or whatsoever to pass that paper and also to pass for the whole course. Bless me!

Soon after the paper, which fell on last Saturday, and it is the time to get back to work! Can you imagine how your table will be like when you got back to the office after a week of leave? Files, documents and papers all over your table .... awaiting me to come back and settle it!!! It is a crazie week I can say, and higher management is pushing us to speed up the processing(s). How to finish an application, as thick like a thesis, with our justifications, our mitigations, our credit explanations, risk analysis & mitigations etc etc, in a day? Besides that, sometimes customers are not cooperative enough to furnish the documents or more information for us to speed up. And sometimes it is the system itself, lag and slow and error here and there, how are they expecting us to write a paper (just like an assignment) in a day? Our job is like , doing all the works (A-Z) and with less pay.

What to do, that is life! And due to the economy turmoil, we have no choice, but to continue our work. Having a job and get paid, rather than get retrenched and without a work. That is even something not to cheer about. But, seriously, I still do enjoy my work alot, but I m really tired of all these. Had been busy for the whole week, therefore, I need to ffk my dear friends, and I am really really sorry, as I could not join the fun to Malacca today. I will next time :) .

Signing off to rest. What a lovely weekend!

It has been a long long time since I last updated my blog. What to do ? I am really busy with my work, till I neglected my social life, my enjoy life etc etc etc lots and lots more ... HAHA ..

Oh gosh, looks like I need to catch back all my time spent on my work ... :)

I really don't know what can I do!! I really don't know how to express my feelings! This is where my weakness is! I know that I'll get "bombak" whenever I express my feelings, whether is wrong or right when I think is right. So, I rather shut up and keep it.

Happy "Moo" Year!

The cow year has finally come.

I m here taking this chance to wish everyone a happy chinese "niu" year! Wishing you and your loved ones a golden OX for prosperity, a pink BULL of health, a fiery BULL for success and a herd-ful of joy. HAPPY CHINESE NEW YR!